My life, like a giant chemical compound table… To achieve identification of that one molecule ever so reactive. If I could add your name as a letter to that list I would stop looking for proof of sanity. You’d be the polymer that furthers each action. Your microscopic image.. so uniquely bound by structural perfection, too beautiful to ignore. I don’t even need to gaze upon you in x4 magnification behind a watered down film for my eyesight has dramatically improved in your presence. I will no longer point blindfolded to the one I examine scrambling to understand why each hypothesis has failed me. Even to use a scientific metaphor is problematic enough and couldn’t possibly hope to uncover your unfathomable spotlessness. It’s not what you’ve done that disregards my idea of you… You’d sit there and you’d degrade yourself to deny my affection. But once you’ve come to and have given up all of your prisons.. I, ME, I will be waiting to praise you, to love you, to lift your voice up and be heard, to be the ground you so proudly stand upon, to keep you safe, and make sure you’re comfortable. I will never exploit you to prove or disprove others thesis’ that you don’t exist. I’ve done all else. I’ve failed, and failed and failed… for you and I will keep failing until you react… Like Antimatter, you will be life and I will not live you poorly.
I will flush away my judgements of the world and the arguments of existence, throw away my hands, and open my arms to you. You will be close to me because you have chosen to do so.. not because I have clinched on to you with tainted claws. A fortress not summed to/by wishful thinking or naivety but solid as the huge encouraging anomalies created in history during times of desperation and fleeting forces - a statue of something in all rights equally bound to the earth. Time… is the key. A life debt not always fully understood. Time will create this beautiful mark in your face that is worn to by smiles and I will touch those wrinkles and think of every time you showed me love when I needed it, every time you smiled at me and knew that I would find my breath in it. And In return I will make you breakfast in the morning with whatever ingredients will convince you to at least try to consume the more important meal of the day. I will be on the right side of you in all cases.. even if we’re in court facing a judge for failing to maintain a reasonable volume at 12AM in an apartment with a ridiculous sound ordinance and land-lady. I will have water hot all day for you and the morning sun will shine through the window that’s on your side of the bed. I will read to you and kiss you under the stars whenever we have long days.
I will show you when you look into my eyes that I believe in you… You will see that undeniable amount of hope and pride that I have for you. My kisses will tell you every day that I love you still.. and that tomorrow will be no different. When we are together I will not take your time for granted, spend it, abuse it, ignore it or sell it to make up for with some left over enthusiasm when you’re not interested. I will love you, not just physically and intellectually, but with care and sensitivity for issues that I may think aren’t worth crying over. I will buy you flowers on days that don’t mean anything… until there’s not a day in the year that can get to you without remembering what they smelled like or where I presented them… and I’d hope you wouldn’t get offended if I stopped in the middle of sex to give them to you.
The bottom line.. has no place for a pen
There’s no clause that will tie you down when you want to leave
Just a place for you to call your own…in my heart.
"out of time and I can’t breathe. I told you not to believe in me cause all ill do is push you far away from me"
On my way to bismark to play a show. Thinking about the haunting pattern my life seems to be conforming to.. Myself to blame.. Cause something like this can’t be inevitable.